10 STEPS TO A HAPPIER LIFE!
Each
and every human is in pursuit of happiness, whether it be a child, or
an adult, a Muslim or a non-Muslim, and this is a true fact. In order to
achieve this true happiness, one must comprehend what this emotion
really is. Happiness is ‘feeling, causing, or giving pleasure’ and it is being ‘satisfied’ according
to the Oxford dictionary. It is essential to understand the psychology
of happiness so we know how much of it we have control over.
James Montier published his research into ‘The Pshchology of Happiness’ and learned that happiness was composed of three elements:
- 1. About 50% of individual happiness comes from a genetic set point. That is, we’re each predisposed to a certain level of happiness. Some of us are just naturally more inclined to be cheery than others.
- 2. About 10% of our happiness is due to our circumstances. Our age, race, gender, personal history, and, yes, wealth, only make up about one-tenth of our happiness.
- 3. The remaining 40% of an individual’s happiness seems to be derived from intentional activity, from “discrete actions or practices that people can choose to do”.
As
humans we have no control over our genetic set-point, and hardly any
control over our circumstances. This 50% of happiness in Islam is
called ‘ridha bi al-qadha’ (being content with our lot on life).
This means that as believers if we truly loved Allah the necessary
effect of it would be that we are content with our lot in life. The Messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace) would
supplicate with words that would highlight the importance of
satisfaction with our fate, therefore we too should make the effort to
recite these sorts of supplications:
“I
am pleased with Allah as my Lord, with Islam as my religion, and with
Muhammad as my Prophet” (Allah bless him and give him peace).[Abu Dawud].
“O
Allah, make me content with what you have provided me, send blessings
for me therein, and replace for me every absent thing with something
better”[Bukhari].
“O
Allah, I seek refuge with You from knowledge which does not bring
benefit and from a heart which is not fearful and from a self which is
not content and from a supplication which is not answered.’” [Muslim]
Thereafter,
the main conclusion to be drawn from Montier’s research is that we can
only work on the last 40% to make ourselves happier. It must be noted
that this 40% cannot be achieved in pursuit of money, fame or anything
else materialistic. These are all transitory, and anything transitory
will never result in true happiness. True happiness is contentment, and
this is only attained through activities which are not fleeting. So here
are 10 steps to make our lives happier:
1.
Seek the pleasure of Allah – nothing can make us happier than seeking
the pleasure of Allah. Whether we are university, home or on holiday
never forget to seek the countenance of Allah.
2.
Be grateful – The more grateful we are to have the things we do, the
more Allah will shower you with His bounties. Appreciation of what Allah
has blessed you with is vital.
“If you express gratitude, I shall certainly give you more, and if you are ungrateful, then My punishment is severe.”[Ibrahim: V7]
3.
Satisfy your soul and not your physical body – Work on activities that
result in eternal happiness that bring a smile to the heart and not
merely a smile to the face. Do meaningful work; strive to partake in
feeding the homeless at hospices, assisting the distressed and helping
others over and above excessive shopping, excessive eating out, and time
spent in worldly activity.
“True enrichment does not come through possessing a lot of wealth, but true enrichment is the enrichment of the soul.”[Bukhari]
4.
Avoid comparisons – do not look towards celebrities, rich or affluent
people above you in worldly matters. The lives of such individuals are
not ‘ideal’ in the eyes of Allah, look towards the lives of the likes of
the Messenger (Allah bless him and give him happy) and Khadija (May
Allah be pleased with her) who are our guiding stars in religious
matters.
“Look at those below you (less fortunate than you), and don’t look at those above you, for this is better.” [Muslim]
5.
Have no expectations in other than Allah– place all reliance and
expectations in Allah alone, any favour that we do, and good character
that we display is not for us to be met with the same. All that we do is
in hope
“O
Allah, give me enough of what You have made lawful to suffice me from
what You have made unlawful, and enrich me by Your bounty giving me
independence from all other than You.” [al-Tirmidhi]
6.
Serve others and cultivate good relations – We should have an
altruistic nature always ready share our warmth and support to others.
The Messenger (Allah bless him and give us peace) strongly advised to
maintain family ties, keep strong relations and relayed to us the
etiquettes of social relations.
“All
created beings are the dependants of Allah, and the most beloved of
creation to Allah is the one who is good to His dependants” [Bayhaqi]
God gives us people to love and things to use, not things to love and people to use.– Max Lucado
7.
Be in routine- If we are in routine we will get adequate sleep and that
solves half the problem! A person with a sleep deficit is often grumpy,
tired and unproductive – all of this counteracts the characteristics
apart of the 10 steps to happiness.
The Messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace) chose
a simple live over an affluent one, and he was always content in life.
One lesson to extract from his life full of happiness is his routine. A
person that plans their day is much more productive than a person that
doesn’t.
“The
Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) had carefully apportioned
his time according to the demands on him for: offering worship to Allah
public affairs, and personal matters.
After
the early morning prayers he would remain sitting in the mosque
reciting praises of Allah till the sun rose and more people collected.
He would then preach to them. After the sermons were over, he would talk
genially with the people, enquire about their welfare and even exchange
jokes with them. Taxes and revenues were also distributed at this time”[Muslim]
8.
Promote brotherhood/sisterhood – feeling a part of a larger group gives
us a sense of security and a safety net to fall onto in occasions of
happiness and hardships. The concept of brotherhood and sisterhood is
one of the central themes of Islam.
“The
(example of) believers (in their mutual love, care and concern) is like
a single person: if his eye complains of pain his whole body complains
of pain, and if his head complains of pain his whole body complains of
pain.” [Muslim]
9. Eat good halal pure food. Eating well maintains our physical well-being, this too keeps us happy.
10. Keep Fit – Scientists claim the best benefit of exercise is that it makes us feel happy.
Exercise
is described by many doctors as an anti-depressant. The presence of
certain chemicals like endorphins and phenylacetic acid increases
drastically after a good work out and it is this that contributes to
that ‘feel good’ feeling after a good workout.
There are two chemicals apart of exercising that contribute to that ‘feel good’ feeling after a good workout.
- 1. Cortisol
- 2. Endorphins
With
these supplications and ten steps with the divine assistance of Allah
it is hoped we can all live a happier life to transport us to our final
abode – PARADISE, where eternal happiness lies. May Allah be pleased
with us always. Ameen.
How to Be Happy: 10 Extremely Practical Tips to Try Now
A
few years ago, on a morning like any other, I had a sudden realization:
I was in danger of wasting my life. As I stared out the rain-spattered
window of a New York City bus, I saw that the years were slipping by.
“What
do I want from life?” I asked myself. “Well…I want to be happy.” I had
many reasons to be happy: My husband was the tall, dark, handsome love
of my life; we had two delightful girls; I was a writer, living in my
favorite city. I had friends; I had my health; I didn’t have to color my
hair. But too often I sniped at my husband or the drugstore clerk. I
felt dejected after even a minor professional setback. I lost my temper
easily. Is that how a happy person would act?
I decided
on the spot to begin a systematic study of happiness. (A little
intense, I know. But that’s the kind of thing that appeals to me.) In
the end, I spent a year test-driving the wisdom of the ages, current
scientific studies, and tips from popular culture—happy planner, happy color, happy stuff, and all. If I followed all the advice for how to feel happy, I wanted to know, would it work?
Well, the year is over, and I can say: It did. I made myself happier. And along the way I learned a lot about how to be happier. Here are those lessons.
1. Don’t start with profundities.
When
I began my Happiness Project, I realized pretty quickly that, rather
than jumping in with lengthy daily meditation or answering deep
questions of self-identity, I should start with the basics, like going
to sleep at a decent hour and not letting myself get too hungry. Science
backs this up; these two factors have a big impact on happiness.
2. Do let the sun go down on anger.
I
had always scrupulously aired every irritation as soon as possible, to
make sure I vented all bad feelings before bedtime. Studies show,
however, that the notion of anger catharsis is poppycock. Expressing
anger related to minor, fleeting annoyances just amplifies bad feelings,
while not expressing anger often allows it to dissipate.
3. Fake it till you feel it.
Feelings
follow actions. If I’m feeling low, I deliberately act cheery, and I
find myself actually feeling happier. If I’m feeling angry at someone, I
do something thoughtful for her and my feelings toward her soften. This
strategy is uncannily effective.
4. Realize that anything worth doing is worth doing badly.
Challenge
and novelty are key elements of happiness. The brain is stimulated by
surprise, and successfully dealing with an unexpected situation gives a
powerful sense of satisfaction. People who do new things―learn a game,
travel to unfamiliar places―are happier than people who stick to
familiar activities that they already do well. I often remind myself to
“Enjoy the fun of failure” and tackle some daunting goal.
5. Don’t treat the blues with a “treat.”
Often
the things I choose as “treats” aren’t good for me. The pleasure lasts a
minute, but then feelings of guilt and loss of control and other
negative consequences deepen the lousiness of the day. While it’s easy
to think, I’ll feel good after I have a few glasses of wine…a pint of ice cream…a cigarette…a new pair of jeans, it’s worth pausing to ask whether this will truly make things better.
6. Buy some happiness.
Our
basic psychological needs include feeling loved, secure, and good at
what we do. You also want to have a sense of control. Money doesn’t
automatically fill these requirements, but it sure can help. I’ve
learned to look for ways to spend money to stay in closer contact with
my family and friends; to promote my health; to work more efficiently;
to eliminate sources of irritation and marital conflict; to support
important causes; and to have enlarging experiences. For example, when
my sister got married, I splurged on a better digital camera. It was
expensive, but it gave me a lot of happiness.
7. Don’t insist on the best.
There are two types of decision makers. Satisficers (yes,
satisficers) make a decision once their criteria are met. When they
find the hotel or the pasta sauce that has the qualities they want,
they’re satisfied. Maximizers want
to make the best possible decision. Even if they see a bicycle or a
backpack that meets their requirements, they can’t make a decision until
they’ve examined every option. Satisficers tend to be happier than
maximizers. Maximizers expend more time and energy reaching decisions,
and they’re often anxious about their choices. Sometimes good enough is
good enough.
8. Exercise to boost energy.
I
knew, intellectually, that this worked, but how often have I told
myself, “I’m just too tired to go to the gym”? Exercise is one of the
most dependable mood-boosters. Even a 10-minute walk can brighten my
outlook.
9. Stop nagging.
I
knew my nagging wasn’t working particularly well, but I figured that if
I stopped, my husband would never do a thing around the house. Wrong.
If anything, more work got done. Plus, I got a surprisingly big
happiness boost from quitting nagging. I hadn’t realized how shrewish
and angry I had felt as a result of speaking like that. I replaced
nagging with the following persuasive tools: wordless hints (for
example, leaving a new lightbulb on the counter); using just one word
(saying “Milk!” instead of talking on and on); not insisting that
something be done on my schedule; and, most effective of all, doing a
task myself. Why did I get to set the assignments?
10. Take action.
Some
people assume happiness is mostly a matter of inborn temperament:
You’re born an Eeyore or a Tigger, and that’s that. Although it’s true
that genetics play a big role, about 40 percent of your happiness level
is within your control. Taking time to reflect, and making conscious
steps to make your life happier, really does work. So use these tips to
start your own Happiness Project. I promise it won’t take you a whole
year.
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